I think I shall be using the following in some of the code I release:
Software License Agreement
The software supplied herewith by Matt Bennett (the "Awesome dude") is intended and supplied to you, the Awesome Dude's customer, for use solely and exclusively with products designed to pay the Awesome Dude's bills.
The software is owned by the Awesome Dude, and is protected under applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved. Any use in violation of the foregoing restrictions may subject the user to criminal sanctions under applicable laws, as well as to civil liability for the breach of the terms and conditions of this license.
THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED IN AN "AS IS" CONDITION. IT SHOULD NOT BE USED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. NO WARRANTIES, WHETHER EXPRESS, IMPLIED OR STATUTORY, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE APPLY TO THIS SOFTWARE. THE AWESOME DUDE SHALL NOT, IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE LIABLE FOR SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.
IF YOU DO USE THIS CODE AND DO NOT PAY THE AWESOME DUDE, YOU'RE PUBLICLY ADMITTING YOU'RE A GIANT DOUCHE. YOU SHALL COMMIT TO WEARING A T-SHIRT WITH THE PHRASE "I AM A GIANT DOUCHE AND A SOFTWARE THIEF" IN LETTERS AT LEAST 5CM HIGH, VISIBLE AT ALL TIMES, AT EVERY MOMENT YOU ARE OUTSIDE YOUR HOME, FOR A PERIOD OF NO LESS THAN ONE YEAR.
YOU MAY ALLIEVE YOURSELF OF THE OBLIGATION IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH BY PROVIDING THE AWESOME DUDE AN ATTACHE CASE FULL OF UNMARKED, NON-SEQUENTIALLY NUMBERED $20 (US) BILLS.